Rebecca Stead shows us all sorts of friendships: healthy and unhealthy platonic and romantic with people you’ve known all your life, with people you’ve just met even friendship with one’s sibling. Figuring out what kind of person you want to be and what kind of relationships you want to be in. I think it’s there to illuminate one more relationship - which is what this book is about. Since Tab’s mother’s maiden name is likely not Patel (so who knows what part of India her family is originally from?), I really think all the hoops you’ve jumped through here are unnecessary.Īlso, I don’t think the chapter is there to inform readers about the Patels’ family culture. In fact, when my colleague brought this issue up to me, I didn’t recall that chapter at all and thought “Who were the Patels in the story”? I think this is interesting, though I don’t think it ultimately detracts. All this did make realize how little of Tab and Celeste Patel’s family culture comes through in the rest of the book. The question remains whether this would be typical of a New York Gujarti-American family (which, presumably, might have immigrated to the US earlier than the recent shift in Gujarat), but I feel there’s enough to go here to suggest that Stead’s Patels could conceivably observe this festival. The other thought it might be a newer thing because of Bollywood and more travel between the states. Through friends I asked a couple Gujarti-Americans one’s parents do practice it, but are from South Africa. However, a quick search online suggests that the festival is gaining some popularity in Gujarat in recent years. Be thoughtful before sharing something that might be hurtful-think about whether the other person really needs to know, or if you're just trying to clear your conscience.A colleague wrote me with concerns about the “Moon Hunting” chapter that begins on p.99, because the Patel family practices Karva Chauth, a festival traditionally celebrated by Hindu women in several states of North India, but not Gujarat.I forgive you for not being there when I was little, and I'm grateful that we have time together now.' Or, you might say, 'Dad, I know you did the best you could.I was really focused on work, but I should have made more time for you.' For instance, you might say, 'I'm sorry I wasn't around much the last year.And if you've been holding on to any resentment, let go of it, and let the other person know you forgive them for it.

If you know you hurt the person in the past, or if there's something you didn't do and wish you had done, give them a heartfelt apology. If there's anything that needs to be said to clear the air, now's the time to do it.

What happened to goodbye